When was the last time you saved the bunny? You don’t remember?! We’ll you really should think about it! Due to increased number of bunny suicides lately, we had to react and do something about it. It is terrifying that no one cares. I mean, there are numerous pages with photos of bunny suicides (like this one), and yet, instead of helping bunnies overcome depression and suicidal thoughts, people just laugh at them - what is this world coming to?!

Anyway, here are some bunnies that we managed to save, with short description of the rescue process - hopefully this noble action of ours will inspire you do the same. Let’s help them together! We account on your humanity.

1. This poor bunny obviously couldn’t stand living with the old invalid granny anymore, so he decided that death was best for him.

In order to save him, we just had to unleash the rope, so that nothing happens when the granny goes up the stairs.

2. Bunnies are really inteligent creatures, another reason why we should save them. Just look how creative suicide plan this one had - to get his head smashed by a rocket driven wrench. I doubt many people could come up with an idea like that.

So, we’ve installed another rocket, to prevent the wrench from spinning, and thus saved this poor little animal.

3. It gets worse, there are even mass suicide attempts, like this one where eight fluffy sweet little bunnies joined together in attempt to discontinue their lives.

Extra 100 ton weight that we had in the backyard, worked excellent in this situation. Even with their joined forces the bunnies couldn’t move the rock - mission successful!

4. Did we mention mass suicide attempts? Here comes another - that fat lady would surely make our bunnies heads drop off in a blink of an eye…

..so we had to distract her somehow. This one was little bit tricky, but we managed to save them. If you look carefully at the lady, you may see she’s holding an ice cream - so we went evil A stand with free drinks worked brilliantly, just seconds after she drank her free soda, she ran blistering fast in a search of a toilet (hint: laxative a reminder for you not to take everything you are offered, especially if it’s free)
Oh one more thing, as you know, nothing comes for free, so we’ve provided some ad space for your advertisements to help us pay off the drinks. It takes as little as $9,95/month to have your ad on our stand. Please be so generous!

5. To help us prevent the last two suicides…

…we had to contact some people from hollywood. Both Superman and Ellen Ripley did a great job, so we thank them once again!

All bunnies are in our rehab center and are doing pretty well. Unfortunately, there are more bunnies to be saved so we have to move quickly! Check out the next episode of Bunny Rescue.